keskiviikko 16. huhtikuuta 2014

I am a flyer

I'm a flyer.
I have been created to fly.
I'm flying from place to place.
I'm meeting wonderful people.
I'm meeting awesome personalities.
I stay with them for a while.
And then and I will continue my journey.


I regret.
Because so many good things left behind in my life.
I would like live in good.
But, I have been created to fly.
I can't be stop.
And enjoy.
I can enjoy only a small moment.
And then I will continue my journey.


I'm walking alone.
Through the storm and fog.
And I'm enjoying the rain and wind.
I live my life according to the flow.
I don't think too much.
Because it leaves me closed to yesterday.


Once, I was a helper.
Once, I was a groomer.
Once, I played with children.
But one thing, what is and stay,
Is love for my family,
Don't forget the animals.


If I find friend for me.
Who would remain,
with the wind and storm.
I would be the happiest person in the world.
Once I had it.
But no one can keep up on my journey.
Because I'm a flyer.
I live so that I can fly from place to place.


Fortunately I have a friend.
She is my dog.
She's living with me.
She's keeping up on my journey.
She's following me,
Wherever I'm going.


Is is so,
that I never can't stop?
I never can't enjoy properly.
Only I can walk to forward.
And I have to put aside the grief.
They were my former friends.


Time passing.
I fear that the passage of time.
Sometimes I remain in the time legs.
I think the speed to kill me.
I don't know how I can make the right choices.
The pain keeps me alive.
When pain hurt me,
I know that I'm alive,
And I can feel.
I know,
That hope is still there.
Even I would be a flyer.


Someday I aim slow down.
And then I enjoy this moment.
I find something permanent,
And then I hold on it.
At least I hope so.
Life is for living,
No for worry.
The hope is still left.


Self-evaluation:
This is so random, but close for me.
+ random
+ ok
- grammar
- short
- strange
- random

Spiral of nightmare

I was the person who almost never has thought. I lived how I felt to be the best, and this results in the range of small problems. I said before I thought. I lived in my own concrete world and of course inside my own head.

The first time in a long time last autumn someone put me to think properly. This happen shaked my own world. My head wants to die. I began to think new things for me, and as a result, in the end my thoughts began to drift to the cross. I was almost losing my mind.

This was the beginning the spiral of nightmare. And funny thing is it that these nightmares aren't real nightmares. I love and hate these nightmares same time, because they are pictures for my own big dreams. Dreams who can't be realized unless there happen a miracle.

One of my the most terrible nightmare is that where my one of biggest dreams come to real, and then I wake up, and everything was just a dream. I can see very many dreams nearly every night, but these are one of the most terrible of them. These nightmares give me a new hope which has already lost many times. And every time I remember that why it was lost. I wake up again and again. I think: I don’t like this and I hack my head on the wall. This isn't going to work anyway.

After all, leaving only emptiness, feel is completely empty. At times, there remains a wonderful spark that goes off quickly though. I start to reminisce about the past and stay again and again hold on to yesterday.
I like the profound things and philosophical things, but now my feel is it that I don't want think, but problem is it than I can't stop it. I don't know what I'm doing now.

I wake up at midnight, and then I laugh or cry, because my thoughts are so confused. That why love isn't worth. It gets messed up head. Nightmares are terrible.


Self-evaluation:
+ ok
- grammar
- short
- nightmares
- strange

sunnuntai 13. huhtikuuta 2014

Faith, Hope and Love

If you see light in my eyes
You see a little hope
But it's so weak
It dies so easily

You say that you can see my heart
That isn't true
Because I don't have the heart
My heart is cold and hard
You can't touch it
You can't see it
You can't hear it
It is almost died

You can't find my love
because I don't have it
My love died long ago
It was torn out of me
There remained cold
I don't have love

Only someone can find my love
But I don't give any hope
It would be useless
I don't want to give any false hope
My love went
I doesn't come back
Unless a miracle happens

People need something to believe
If there isn't hope, then there isn't faith
If there aren't these, then there isn't love
And then we are died
We are mentally dead

Faith need hope
Hope need love
Love need faith
These need each others
And the biggest one is love.
Faith, Hope and Love.



Self-evaluation:
Random something..
+ idea
- grammar
- short
- strange

How baby gerbils grows up?

I tell you a little story for my A-litter. I have bred one litter of gerbils. Gerbils are a little small rodents. They have small ears, pink or ruby or black eyes, fur and hairy tail with tassel. Gerbils have many coloring, such as black, argente and agouti, and some gerbils have spotted (e.g. collared, white spotted and pied) with basic coloring.
Black gerbil Pippuri
Argente cream collared gerbil Pilvi
Agouti white spotted gerbil Tirri
The first I chose upcoming parents, and they are my own female gerbil Miss Ciara Hippiäinen aka Hippi and my friend's male gerbil Romeo. But this combination didn't work because Romeo was too old gerbil or something else went wrong.
Honey fox gerbil Romeo
Plan B was that I chose new upcoming parents, and they are my own female gerbil Miss Ciara Hippiäinen aka Hippi and my friend's male gerbil Nuutti. Then I put them in the same terrarium with separated by metal mesh. And then, when they agreed together, I deleted that metal mesh. They could live together.
Argente white spotted gerbil, and this litter's dam Miss Ciara Hippiäinen aka Hippi
Lilac gerbil, and this litter's sire Nuutti
Parents together, Hippi and Nuutti
Then, when the mating has happened, and the mother's weight begins to rise, it is time to remove the male in the other terrarium. I can begin to accustom the former roommate to him. Gerbil's gestation is about 23-25 days. During this period, the babies are growing in the mother's stomach and at the same time mother's weight and stomach grow. Hippi's normal weight is 59g and just before the giving birth her weight is 79g.
Before pregnancy
Five days before giving birth
Four days before giving birth
One day before giving birth
One day before giving birth
Mother make a nice nest for her and her babies. And the nest is place where she gives birth. Shortly before the give birth, mother's terrarium needs to be cleaned, because during childbirth or babies are young and weak, mother and her babies need their own repose. None can't disturb they!
Gerbil mother give birth quickly, and then she care her babies. Babies born weighing is about 3-4g.
Hippi cares of her the first or second baby
The babies are born totally helpless, hairless, blind, deaf and totally depending from their parents. They drink their mother's milk. I'll bring food and water for mother, but I'll give repose for them. I quickly checked the nest and found six babies.
Just born babies
One day old and now they have nails 
Two days old, they grow and they shout squeal louder
Their whiskers begin to grow, 3 days old
Their whiskers and fur begin to grow, 4 days old
Their fur grow, and their ears open
I can be handheld babies the first time about the first weeks of age. I kept them in my hand the first time for six days of age. At this age, the mother shouldn't eat her babies, even though I handheld her babies . Yes, it is possible that the mother is eating her babies. I looked at their sex, but this handheld time is sort because babies are so small and weak. We have two females and four males. They weight about 6-7g.
Small Koova is male
6 days old babies
1 week old, I can see how their color to develop, these are argente male Haba and argente female Tyy
1 week old, there are someone spotted once
Small, cute Koova and his long whiskers
Fur growing and colors are clear, everyone are argente, 9 days old
About 8 grams per baby, 11 days old
Hippi made to nests and there are Nennu and Koova, 13 days old
Mother and her babies, 13 days old
Three males: Täpä (argente white spotted), Koova (argente collared) and Haba (argente), 2 weeks old
Otta is male and his color is argente white spotted, 2 weeks old
Ruoste is male and his color is argente, 2 weeks old
They are very fast and real bar of soap in my hand, 16 days old
Otta's eyes open today, 19 days old
Täpä's eyes have been opened, 19 days old
They can eat and drink themselves, but they drink also Hippi's milk, about 11 grams, 19 days old
A little bit cramp! 3 weeks old
Koova is so cute boy, 3 weeks old
Koova is 3 weeks old
Tyy is also so cute, 3 weeks old
Hippi lead by example and her son Täpä training shred, 3 weeks old
After three weeks of age is risky age because babies are susceptible to respiratory infection, if they don't get enough water and food, the three-week-old babies start to eat solid food, the mother's milk production will decline. I'll take care of hydration with water spray a little terrarium walls, of which the babies were able to drink. In addition, I changed the dust-free sawdust substrate. These babies fortunately escaped respiratory infection. 

Babies grow teeth about 12-14 days of age. Babies need training for handling. Same time when I keep they on my hand, I can watch their teeth. The babies give the best handheld in the future, if it has been practiced from an early age. The babies are fast and hard to jump, but also weak, so they must be handled with care, but a little bit tightly that they don't drip on the floor.
They are so fast and so curious! About 15 grams, 25 days old
Koova is already like a gerbil, 27 days old
Here's a wild bustle and all of they don't fit on my hand anymore, 27 days old, about 17 grams
Beautiful girl Nennu and Tyy, 4 weeks old
Handsome spotted boys Täpä, Otta and Koova, 4 weeks old
Handsome small boy Haba, 4 weeks old
Täpä 4 weeks old
The babies are released to their new homes when they are at least six weeks old. Then they are ready to survive on their own. Gerbils always tend to live at least in pairs because they are a herd of animals. 

The first Hippi's babies Nennu and Tyy go their own home when they are 48 days of age. The last who go in his own home is Otta, who went to his own home when he is about two months old. I left myself Koova, Täpä and Haba, and they form their own pack.
Last time together whole family, girls Nennu and Tyy left their family
48 days old, Ainoo Enkeli aka Aava (Nennu), female, argente collared
48 days old, Aamun Kaste aka Anniina (Tyy), female, argente
48 days old, Ajan Matkaaja aka Otta (Otta), male, argente white spotted
48 days old, Aromaan Kiitäjä aka Hyrrä (Täpä), male, argente white spotted
48 days old, Aamun Tohvelieläin aka Ruoste (Haba), male, argente
48 days old, Aarteiden Arkku aka Lenni-Kalle (Koova), male, argente collared
Otta, Hyrrä and Hippi together last time
When these babies was a six week old, they weight are about 26 grams. From now on, they grow and add weight to adulthood. They look almost adult gerbils, but they are much smaller in size and weaker. In the future, they to collect the mass of and size, and live their lives normally. And their mother back to normal with her sister Tirri.
Lenni-Kalle about 15 weeks old
Ruoste about 15 weeks old
Hyrrä about 15 weeks old
About 1 year old Ruoste
About 1 year old Lenni-Kalle
About 1 year old Hyrrä
Mother Hippi and her 1 year old boys Lenni, Hyrrä and Ruoste
And last but not least, some photos when "babies" are about 1 year old and their parents
Hippi's daughter Aava and Hippi
Nuutti and his son Ruoste
Hyrrä and his sister Anniina
Lenni and his sister Aava
Hyrrä's and Aava's tender moment
Very fair brother... Hyrrä and his sister Aava
Ruoste and his sister Anniina
Ainoo Enkeli "Aava"
Aamun Kaste "Anniina"
Aamun Tohvelieläin "Ruoste"
Aarteiden Arkku "Lenni-Kalle"
Aromaan Kiitäjä "Hyrrä"
Self-evaluation:
I like to do this one.
+ ok
+ idea
+ some photos
+ some new information for everyone
- grammar
- short text